The best thing about Chris Rock...
Apr. 22nd, 2004 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_leprechaun...is that he gets me thinking.
I just turned on HBO and his Mr. Rock's new special was on. I watched it from, I would guess, the halfway point up to the end.
Luckily I was home alone at the time, so I could shout out my support as loud as I wanted whenever he said something I agreed with. Like the fact that too many people are so set in their political stance, they'll decide their opinion on an issue before they even know what the issue is. "Republicans are idiots, Democrats are idiots, conservatives are idiots, liberals are idiots. Just be a f**kin' person! Hear an issue and then decide what you think about it!" I liked that.
And then, as most comics do, he got into the subject of relationships and marriage. And that's when the wheels in my brain started turning. Because the things he brought up were actually something I've been thinking about for a long time.
In American society (and probably most of the civilized world), there is this idea, this cliche that's been around for God knows how long in terms of relationships and marriage. It is the cliche that the husband is the fun-loving, easy-going one- and that the woman is down-to-earth, controlling, and overly sensitive. The guy can try to do whatever the heck he wants, but at the end of the day the woman makes all the decisions. A guy can't dare to ever say or do anything that might hurt a woman, because then the woman's feelings are hurt. The guy is the slave to the woman.
And there is nothing that scares me more at this stage in my life than the idea that I might end up like that.
Why is it the woman who always sets the rules? Why is it the woman who always is saying 'no'? Why does the woman have to be the one who ruins the man's fun and doesn't let him do anything he wants? Are there any healthy relationships, any decent, happy relationships, in which the male is not the complete subservient to the female?
Hey, here's a radical idea- if I ever get married, I want me and my husband-to-be to be on the SAME LEVEL. If he does things that make me happy, I should do just the same for him. I should not get so worked up when he ribs at me or makes some off-the-cuff comment intended as a joke, and I should feel free to make such comments right back at him. I should be able to not be the pack-rat wife that buys three sets of guest towels and a thousand candles we'll never use and a frickin' extra toilet seat.
Even in my family, though there is a sense of cooperation, my Dad has always been the more fun-loving one and my Mom the more sensitive. And that's fine with me because it appears to be working for them (has for over 30 years, at least). But I don't think it's what I want.
I remember one day Mom & I were in the car driving somewhere, and she made some comment about my growing up. In response I said, "Nah, I'll always be a kid at heart."
"Well," said Mom, "You are your father's daughter."
And that was a comfort to me.
I just turned on HBO and his Mr. Rock's new special was on. I watched it from, I would guess, the halfway point up to the end.
Luckily I was home alone at the time, so I could shout out my support as loud as I wanted whenever he said something I agreed with. Like the fact that too many people are so set in their political stance, they'll decide their opinion on an issue before they even know what the issue is. "Republicans are idiots, Democrats are idiots, conservatives are idiots, liberals are idiots. Just be a f**kin' person! Hear an issue and then decide what you think about it!" I liked that.
And then, as most comics do, he got into the subject of relationships and marriage. And that's when the wheels in my brain started turning. Because the things he brought up were actually something I've been thinking about for a long time.
In American society (and probably most of the civilized world), there is this idea, this cliche that's been around for God knows how long in terms of relationships and marriage. It is the cliche that the husband is the fun-loving, easy-going one- and that the woman is down-to-earth, controlling, and overly sensitive. The guy can try to do whatever the heck he wants, but at the end of the day the woman makes all the decisions. A guy can't dare to ever say or do anything that might hurt a woman, because then the woman's feelings are hurt. The guy is the slave to the woman.
And there is nothing that scares me more at this stage in my life than the idea that I might end up like that.
Why is it the woman who always sets the rules? Why is it the woman who always is saying 'no'? Why does the woman have to be the one who ruins the man's fun and doesn't let him do anything he wants? Are there any healthy relationships, any decent, happy relationships, in which the male is not the complete subservient to the female?
Hey, here's a radical idea- if I ever get married, I want me and my husband-to-be to be on the SAME LEVEL. If he does things that make me happy, I should do just the same for him. I should not get so worked up when he ribs at me or makes some off-the-cuff comment intended as a joke, and I should feel free to make such comments right back at him. I should be able to not be the pack-rat wife that buys three sets of guest towels and a thousand candles we'll never use and a frickin' extra toilet seat.
Even in my family, though there is a sense of cooperation, my Dad has always been the more fun-loving one and my Mom the more sensitive. And that's fine with me because it appears to be working for them (has for over 30 years, at least). But I don't think it's what I want.
I remember one day Mom & I were in the car driving somewhere, and she made some comment about my growing up. In response I said, "Nah, I'll always be a kid at heart."
"Well," said Mom, "You are your father's daughter."
And that was a comfort to me.
